Sam and Jan's Excellent Adventure:
Chapter 33 -- The Caballero Court Confidential
January 01, 2021 – Vol. 2 No. 1
Quote of the Day:
“The problem with quotes on the internet is that they are often untrue.” Abraham Lincoln
Local News:
New Year’s Eve
Alas, no New Year’s Eve Party this year. Another Covid casualty. It would have been such a swell affair too. I can see it now --
Held at the Wagon Master Estate, we can see Mr. Dibbleworthy standing near the bar, new dinner jacket and diamond studs in his shirt. Ms. Dibbleworthy nearby, resplendent in a new tiara, diamond necklace and black silk dress, so dazzling a person could be temporarily blinded merely looking in her direction. Both still working, they must have had a very good year.
The Captain and Ms. McFly (also known as Good Samaritan Mc Fly) were there with the pickup in the driveway, tailgate down, in case anyone needed to be Ubered home. Ms. McFly made sure the pickup bed, it’s new you know, was swept clean. She even sprayed on a few puffs of Chanel No. 5 in case there was any lingering taint from the last load the Captain hauled to the dump. The Captain looked very nautical (perhaps a little piratical) in his naval cut, blue dinner jacket, ruffled shirt and regrown beard. Ms. McFly shimmered in her red sequins – a real eye catcher.
Mr. and Ms. Lemoncello (Enzo and Chase) were there bringing with them the New York chic they acquired in those earlier years – he in his midnight blue tuxedo and she in gold satin and feathers. Thankfully, no one mentioned they should check out Dawn Park, (it being fairly secluded, with cushions on some of the seating, quite comfortable). We have had enough of that silliness.
Nurse Linen-White and Mr. Cratchit arrived all bundled up as it had turned cold that evening. When she took off her coat, Mr. Cratchit’s jaw dropped, and his blood pressure spiked (he had not seen the dress occupied before). The dress was truly a stunning construction in black and white silk with lots of (maybe too much) net. He thought a little time in the cool night air would help, and, in about a half hour, he returned better, but blood pressure still not normal. Being careful not to overdo, they left soon after. The good nurse thought it best to get him into bed as soon as possible.
Team Hornblower came. This was their first outing since their Covid adventure. They appeared a little pale but otherwise no worse for wear, thirst seemed unimpaired. Mr. Hornblower, still a licensed boat captain, was in a jacket that looked like something a full admiral would wear (lots of gold braid). Ms. Hornblower in her gown of sea green with a foam of lace around the top was the perfect compliment.
Our Viking couple, the Erikksons, were there in full formal – tails and trailing pastel blue evening gown. Thor brought a bottle of their prized Norwegian vermouth (Vermutenhagen) and made a round of martinis (which Jenny McFly declared were a gift from Odin). They left before midnight, remembering that when this group comes into close contact with a large quantity of adult beverages, singing often results, and no one (except Team Watkins) is safe from Covid yet.
Mick and Bianca Jaggers (recently Peter Pan and Tinkerbell) ventured out. He was fetching in a new red velvet dinner jacket. A person would never know that Ms. Jaggers injured her foot earlier this summer (revenge cannonball gone wrong). Tonight, she walked perfectly in a cute pair of strappy, black heels; her black lace dress was the perfect accompaniment. Staying mostly in the patio area outside, they could see if any singing took place and escape out the gate.
Mr. Jaggers had encountered a slight injury to his right knee. It’s unclear whether he twisted it or just hit it with his paddle during a pickleball rally. Here we miss again one of our dear couples, the Chuzzlewits (Martin and Mary), who could not attend. We, of course, miss the East Coast chic they bring, but also Therapist Chuzzlewit could have instructed Mr. Jaggers, in the proper application of Sloan’s Liniment to his injury.
By the way, Mr. Chuzzlewit is currently offering, for a reasonable price, a framed series of three action photos of him executing the perfect pickleball serve (autographed copies will be slightly more). Mr. Dennis has seen the pictures, and said they were amazing; actually, he took the pictures (he will get a small percentage). In the final frame, with Mr. Chuzzlewit completing a proper follow through, he becomes the perfect pictorial embodiment of the Colossus of Rhodes astride the entrance to the harbor. Too bad Christmas is already past. Perhaps the pictures could be saved for a birthday, or even next Christmas.
The Copperfields and the Dennis’ arrived at about the same time, both carrying plates of good things to nibble on. Mr. Copperfield was a picture in his bottle-green dinner jacket. He is all healed from his recent gall bladder surgery but is having a little difficulty coming to terms with the idea of no more pizza for lunch every day. Mr. Dennis had on his favorite cats-eye studs and immediately positioned himself near the bar (he loves smell of alcohol in the evening). Some feared (i.e. Ms. Dennis), that he would overindulge and need the Uber, but it didn’t happen.
In a big surprise, the two ladies were both in basic black dresses with naughty little cut-outs here and there. Each dress, in a different way, was quite daring, and most unexpected for a couple of former educators. It should not have been a surprise, however. Ms. Copperfield has show business in her family (you know how crazy show people can get) and the two had been hanging out together recently. Naturally, the dresses were not over the top scandalous; they were just very sexy in a tasteful way.
There was some concern that during the festivities, somebody would miss the step down to the patio and do a full spread-eagle on to the pavers. Nurse Linen-White had already left and Nurse Maybell Skywalker and her husband Luke (well known, Christmas wrapping expert) were not able to attend – whoa, no medical help if needed! We missed the western vibe the Skywalkers always bring. Who can forget the riding habits they wore for the Christmas bike parade. Fortunately, no one missed the afore mentioned step.
Sadly, the Darnays were not there either, and nobody likes a party better than they do. An unexpected visit of the Covid sank their New Year’s plans. Mr. Darnay would have looked like a graying 30-year-old entrepreneur in his powder-blue dinner jacket and moderately distressed Calvins. Lucie Darnay was going to wear a sassy, little, multi-colored frock that was quite short, but not so short she would need to stand all evening; she was ready to dance. The Komodo Dragon bite she sustained earlier this year was fully healed and would not have been noticeable. Hopefully, they will be back in party mode soon.
Ms. Mornigglory came with two large platters of beef, cheese and bread creations, which was a good thing considering the quantity of beverage that was to be consumed during the evening. Her dress was classic black with ropes of pearls. She came with the Sweedlepipes, who came dressed to the elevens (the nines are so 15 minutes ago). Mr. Sweedlepipe pulled off an interesting “Palmer at the at the opera” look. His Titleist golf cap was dyed to match his plum-colored tuxedo. His lovely wife looked like she just stepped out of a fashion shoot, wearing another multicolored number with a cloud of sparkling rhinestones. It was possibly shorter than Ms. Darnay’s; she was ready to dance too, even in seven-inch heels.
Mr. Ponzini had a proper black tuxedo with a matching knit wool ski cap. A great way to look sharp and keep the evening cold off a shaven pate. They had come in their NEV. When she unwrapped, Sofia Ponzini was in a work of art she had been stitching together for the last three weeks. The dress was of the purest, white silk with Swarovski crystals and fringe -- very stylish. Every time she moved, a hundred things on the dress would either sparkle or wiggle.
The Cheerybles (Frank and Kate) rode down with the Ponzinis and were similarly bundled. Unwrapped Ms. Cheeryble was explosive in red satin, the color of lava just as it erupts. It was off the shoulder, it was even off both shoulders, in a rather unique way – all cunning straps and beads. When these neighbor ladies fancy-up, they sure know how to do it. Mr. Cheeryble also looked very smart in his red and gold plaid dinner jacket. The red complimented the red in Ms. C’s dress, and the gold went very well with the lamp shade he put on his head later.
Yes, it would have been such a great party. No one needed to be Ubered home, no one drank too much, no one did a spread eagle on to the patio pavers. We had dancing (at proper distances of course), but no singing this time. It would have been the perfect New Year’s Eve outing. Too bad we had to miss it.
2021
It is January, and time for New Year’s resolutions. Everyone, except God Almighty, has one or more personal areas that could use a resolution to improve. Up to 50% of Americans make such resolutions. Unfortunately, the success rate of these resolutions is quite low. There are good reasons for this -- unrealistic goals, too many decisions, no way to measure success, forgetting what was resolved.
It is, therefore, the resolution of this exposition to help those who make resolutions, to make more successful ones. 1. Many celebrants, the morning after that fabulous New Year’s Eve party, holding an aching head, have resolved to never touch another drop of alcohol. Now several days later, head no longer hurting, most are lamenting the hastiness of that resolution with the Super Bowl coming soon. This, of course, is a faulty resolution. It is unrealistic and must be discarded (this is perfectly acceptable if it is replaced with a realistic one). Replace it with “not a drop until Super Bowl”; or perhaps more realistically, “no double martinis until Super Bowl.” With a manageable resolution like this, a person is able to quickly find success, feel good about herself/himself, and enjoy the Super Bowl.
2. Often a person will feel inspired to some cultural improvement such as “I resolve to learn to play the guitar.” Though laudable, and not totally unrealistic, it contains too many decisions. Guitar – buy, rent; acoustic, electric; steel strings, nylon; classical music, or rock. A guitar resolution should be replaced with a less decision-packed resolution -- such as learn to play the kazoo. Like the guitar it is musical and portable, but easier to learn and less expensive. Success can be had more quickly. Probably a person could be fully proficient with “This Land Is Your Land” and be able to entertain friends and relatives by the next Super Bowl party.
3. Occasionally someone will resolve to be a better person - also laudable, but a flawed resolution because there is no easy way to measure success. A person must carefully choose an action that will demonstrate to others, something measurable, that he/she is a better person. For instance, a golfer could demonstrate that he/she is a better person by no longer kicking the ball out of trouble and on to the fairway (the old foot mashie). That might make the golfer feel good about herself/himself, but the effect would be lost (not measurable) on the other golfers. They didn’t realize what was going on before, because they were so much further down the fairway. A better (more measurable) way would be to buy a round for the foursome at the 19th hole. Continue that action until February 7, 2021, and throw a big Super Bowl party. Through these actions, these folks will be able to see a better person.
4. Those people who always forget resolutions should do what many others have done in the past -- resolve to stop making resolutions. Then he/she can enjoy the Super Bowl without the nagging thought of an unresolved resolution hanging overhead.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!